Adventures of Kankuro and Kurisuta
by Kurisuta-teh-kawaii
Summary: Kankuro and my oc, Kurisuta, are two halves of a whole idiot! Wacky adventures. I set the rating on T for mild language and perverted...ness. XD
1. Chapter 1

_**Adventures of Kankuro and Kurisuta**_

_Chapter 1: The Dress_

* * *

"Kankuro-kun!" I shouted. "Kankuro-kun! I need your help!"

"The kind of help you need I can't give you," said Kankuro calmly as he walked into Kurisuta's room.

"I need you to strip for me," I said without thinking. I felt the awkward silence as I looked up to see Kankuro expression that said "Woah…"

"Kurisuta-chan. The cold hard truth is.. we're just friends," he said carefully. I rolled my eyes.

"I didn't mean it like that. I need you to try on this dress so I can-"

"No way!" he shouted without letting me finish. "I'm not trying on your stupid dress!"

"Pleeeeease?" I begged. "It really needs hemmed."

Kankuro sighed. "Fine, but only if I can try on a bra and stuff it with oranges."

"…Why...?" I asked with suspicion.

"I've just always wondered what a bra feels like," he replied casually. I rolled my eyes again. Kankuro took off his hat and his shirt. I turned around to grab the sewing pins when I heard "Damn it!"

"What's wrong?" I asked as I turned around.

"I can't reach around back to snap this bra," he complained. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The great puppet master, Kankuro, complaining that he can't snap on his bra. There wasn't one right word in that previous sentence.

"Oh my gosh..." I sighed. I walked over to him to help him snap on the white pushup bra. "Let me guess," I started, "You want the oranges?"

"If you please," he said. I sighed again and walked out of the room and into the kitchen. I couldn't find the oranges so I just grabbed the grapefruit. It was bigger anyway. As I walked back into my room Kankuro already put on the dress. It was a silky purple-pink kimono style dress. Oddly enough, it kind of looked good on him. If he were to grow out his hair and grow some boobs, he might be able to pull off being a girl.

"I couldn't find the oranges, so I found something bigger- grapefruits." I said handing him the fruit.

"Sweet!" he exclaimed. He actually put them in the bra. Needless to say he had humongous knockers.

"Wow…." I said in disbelief. "Now stand still," I ordered. I bent down with the pincushion and started placing the pins where the hems were to be placed. When I was almost finished I heard him say "Oh my gaaaawsh."

"What?" I asked not looking up.

"You're like, totally, trying to look up my skirt," he said smiling.

"…Yea, lets get you out of this dress."

"Kankuro!" said a familiar voice. It was Temari. She walked into the room. "I need you to-" she stopped her sentence at the sight of her brother in a dress.

"It's not what you think Temari.." Kankuro said. "She's hemming a dress," he stated trying to save himself.

"Temari!" someone yelled from outside the room, "Where the hell is that lazy ass brother of mine?" It was Gaara. He walked to Temari only to find her staring into the room. "What the hell are you looking-?" He stopped in mid-sentence to find Kankuro in the woman's apparel. Kankuro and I couldn't help but stare back.

To make everything better Kankuro said, "Oh, hey guys. Just wanted to look fabulous." I couldn't help but crack up laughing. This whole situation was just too funny.

"Um.." started Temari. "Gaara, where's the phone book?"

"Why?" he asked.

"I need to look up a therapist for Kankuro," she said slowly.

"You're just jealous that your boobs aren't as big as mine!" he screamed while fake crying.

"Kankuro, your siblings are never going to look at you the same way again," I said carefully. "Just stop before you cross the line."

"Yea, you're right," he said in his normal tone. He took off the dress and stood there in the white pushup bra filled with grapefruit. He reached within the bra and took out said grapefruit and handed it to Temari. "Grapefruit?" he offered.

Temari rolled her eyes and walked out of the room followed by Gaara. Kankuro shrugged his broad shoulders and said "Oh well, more for me."

* * *

_Heehee.. Don't ask. This was just a random thought that passed through my head. I'm glad it did, though. I thought maybe I could put my feelings into this story and discreetly express them. I have issues that I need to work out. -sob-_

_So anyway, I don't own Kankuro, Temari, or Gaara... Or anyone in Naruto. But Kurisuta is mine because like... it's me.. XD_

_Have a nice day._


	2. Chapter 2

_**Adventures of Kankuro and Kurisuta**_

_Chapter 2: The Dumbass of the Night_

* * *

I remember flopping over many times that night and thinking to myself, "I feel like a fish." I just wasn't able to get comfortable. Maybe it was because it was hot and humid in my room, and the simple solutions such as taking off the blanket on top of me or turning on the fan at the foot of my bed were out of the question. I can't sleep without a blanket-I always feel like something's going to grab my feet and eat me. As far as the fan, I need almost dead silence to sleep.

Many thoughts ran through my head until I realized it was pointless just lying there anymore. "I wonder what Kankuro is doing," I thought though I knew well that he was probably sleeping. "I'll go to the window and see if there's a slight possibility he's still awake."

I silently slid out of bed so nobody would hear me. 'Nobody' as in Yoake and Mu. Most people would tell of how hard it was to sneak out without anybody knowing, but unlike them I was considered the 'stealth bomb' of my family. I didn't even have to TRY to be silent, I just naturally was. However, there was one obstacle that made my heart pound inside my chest- the door. The front door always squeaks. Luckily, I made it outside without anybody knowing.

I was on the front porch when I realized I was in really short shorts and a white tank top with a pink cat. It said "Naughty Kitty" across it as well. "Kankuro's going to think I'm there to seduce him!" I thought regretting ever leaving the house. I stood there for a few moments before thinking, "Well, it's not like I'm going over there to do that anyway. And I don't think- no... I KNOW he won't care that I look like this."

At first I snuck to the end of the driveway, my wet hair from the shower blocking my view a bit. Once I was a few yards away from the house I started to run. It's not like I had to run far. Kankuro lived in the street next to me. Eventually his house came into plain view and I started to slow down.

As I climbed up the windowsill I remembered that Gaara didn't sleep. "Shit!" I thought. I stopped dead in my tracks. Dare I go further? Maybe if I were to be the stealth bomb everyone said I was I could still make it. No point in turning back now, right?

When I got to Kankuro's window I saw he had his curtains closed. I hesitated before knocking lightly on the window with my knuckles. "Kankuro," I said in a hushed tone. I heard someone get up. He opened the curtains before opening the window.

"Kurisuta?" he whispered. "What the hell are you doing? Do you have any idea what time it is?" Kankuro helped me out of the window into his room. I could tell he hadn't been sleeping. He probably just layed there like I did. It was then that I realized he didn't have a shirt on, and he was in red plaid boxers. He also didn't have his cat hat on his head or any paint on his face.

"I couldn't sleep," I replied to his question.

"What do you want me to do about it?" He asked. "I don't make sleeping potions."

"Yea, I know," I said as cute as I could. Maybe if he felt sorry for me he'd let me stay for a while. "But it was hot in my room and I couldn't stand to just lay there any longer." He raised an eyebrow at me. I couldn't tell if he was just playing around or if he being serious. "By the way, nice outfit," I said. I couldn't resist saying it.

"Heh. You're one to talk," he responded. "Did you come over here to seduce me or something?" It felt like a sword was rammed through my head. I knew I should have snuck back into my house for something that covers more.

To make everything worse I took my finger and slowly twirled it on his chest. He backed away in fear as I giggled. "I love freaking you out!"

"Yea, I'm sure you do."

It was a few moments before I asked him, "So what have you been doing? It doesn't look like you've been sleeping either."

"Eh…" he responded unenthusiastically. "I haven't."

"Well…" I started while thinking. "Maybe if we get our minds off sleeping we'll be able to sleep."

He looked at me dumbly and hesitated before saying, "You're retarded."

"Thanks, Kankuro," I said with fake sadness. "You're going to cause me to turn emo one day!" Kankuro rolled his eyes. "Well, can we atleast listen to some music while we talk?"

"Sure," he shrugged.

"Yay!" I squealed quietly as I skipped to his computer to turn it on. I have a playlist full of random crap and there were enough songs to last the whole night even if we didn't ever get tired and fall asleep.

It was a few minutes before we said anything. I was busy getting to my playlist and Kankuro had already sat back down on his bed. "Hey!" I finally said. "You want to act like a whore in some random chat rooms?" I looked over and saw his eyes get really big in disbelief.

"I'm glad I don't have the power to read people's minds, because I seriously do not want to know what goes through your head." I giggled at this. I turned down the computer speakers before the music started. Then I got up to lay down next to Kankuro. He was still just sitting up.

"So." I started. "How 'bout them Bengals?" I asked out of complete randomness.

He raised his eyebrow at me again before saying, "They're not even playing right now." Again, I started giggling and he started laughing a little to. He lay down next to me and put his hands behind his head. We both just sat there for a few minutes listening to the faint music.

"I'm horny," I said randomly.

Kankuro sat up a little and started at me with big eyes again. "I do not believe the profanity that is coming out of my best friend!" Once again I started laughing. He lay back down with his hands behind his head again. It got silent for a few minutes after that. I started to get cold chills so I pulled his blanket over me. "Are you planning on just staying the night here?" he asked suddenly.

I thought for a moment. "Ya know… I hadn't really thought of it. Why?"

"I was just wondering. I really don't care. But if Temari or Gaara come in here and see us together, what are they gonna think?"

This time I started laughing as hard as I could. The thought of Temari and Gaara's expressions was just too funny.

"Hush!" he warned.

"Sorry," I said quieting down. "I was just thinking of their expressions."

"Ok…?"

"Well anyway, if I feel myself getting sleepy I can go back home."

I heard his breaths of hesitance before saying, "…You don't have to go." This warmed my heart. He may be a lazy, inconsiderate bully, but this is why I loved him… as a friend of course!

That was all I remembered of that night. Next thing I know I faintly see Temari in the doorway of Kankuro's room with the sun shining on her. It must have been morning. "Hey, Temari," I said. She just stood there and gave me a slight nod. I was confused until I realized I was on my side. I had my right arm around Kankuro's chest and my left under his neck. Kankuro was on his back with his left arm under my waist but his right hand was limply placed upon my hip as well. "Oh…crap…" I said quietly so that Kankuro could continue sleep. I gently pulled away from him and carefully slid out of bed as to not disturb him.

Temari was still staring at me. "…Did you…?" she started as we walked out of the room into the hallway.

"No," I automatically said. "We didn't." She didn't look convinced. "I couldn't sleep last night, so I snuck over here and accidentally fell asleep in his bed. Honest!"

"Ok, ok," said Temari obviously wanting me to stop.

"Are you the one I heard last night?" asked Gaara walking towards us. This REALLY made Temari raise an eyebrow at me. Gaara, however, was clueless as to how perverted that sounded in this situation.

"When?" I asked hoping to save myself.

"I don't remember. I heard someone outside but when I looked out the window there was nobody there."

"Oh…ya…" I said understanding what he meant. "I climbed up the side of your house." Gaara and Temari sighed. I guess they didn't appreciate that very much. "Sorry…"

"Yea, yea," said Temari.

Kankuro appeared in the hallway with his daily black outfit on, but his face remained paintless. I guess he did that later. "Ohayo Gozaimasu!" he said cheerfully.

"Good morning," Temari and I said in unison.

I sighed heavily. "I guess I better get going. If Yoake and Mu are awake they're going to think I have a secret night job." Everyone laughed except for Gaara because he never laughs… or maybe he didn't get its pervertedness. Who knows?

"Why don't I come with you?" asked Kankuro. Everybody, including me, looked at him strangely. "…What? I feel like playing DDR."

* * *

_I would love for this to happen. It would be so cute. Not necessarily with Kankuro (DUH!) but I think you know what I mean._

_About Yoake and Mu: They are my two bestest friends in real life. Mu is pronounced "Moo" because as I was typing this I realized she was the only one without a Japanese name so I just abbreviated it to sound like the syllable 'Moo'._

_Again, Kankuro, Temari, and Gaara are not mine. But Kurisuta is. Yoake and Mu go to their rightful owners... Yoake and Mu. XD_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Adventures of Kankuro and Kurisuta**_

_Chapter 3: Hypnotism of the Baby Shows_

* * *

Kankuro, Temari, Gaara and I entered my house where Yoake and Mu sit. Temari and Gaara wanted to play DDR as well so they just followed Kankuro and I. "Working the night job, are we?" asked Yoake in a sarcastic tone. 

Temari was about to say something before I said, "Yup, Temari and I are pimps while Kankuro and Gaara dress up in fishnet and tiny miniskirts and go work the corners." Kankuro and Gaara looked at me strangely while Temari started laughing.

"I'm hungry," said Gaara all the sudden.

"I'm hungry!" screamed Mu.

"Yea, me to," said Temari and Yoake as well.

"We haven't had breakfast," said Temari.

They all walked out of the room except for Kankuro and I.

"I'm not a morning person," I said.

"Me neither," said Kankuro flipping through the TV channels. "What do you want to watch?" he suddenly asked.

"Porn," I said casually. I was obviously kidding, trying to scare him. I succeeded. He looked over at me with an expression that said "What the hell?"

"Kidding!" I exclaimed. "Just whatever you want." He kept flipping through the channels. He must have come up with a brilliant idea to get back at me because he stopped on Dora the Explorer and started squealing like a little girl.

"Nice," I said casually. "You seriously think you're funny, don't you?" I asked. Next thing I remember my vision faded to black and I seemed to fall asleep without really falling asleep.

I remember Temari waking me up. Kankuro and I were in what looked like hospital beds. "What the hell happened?" Kankuro asked. "Where are we?" I couldn't help but wonder the same thing.

"You're in the freakin' mental hospital," said Yoake in her normal harsh voice.

"WHAT?!" Kankuro and I both screamed.

"What the hell did we do?!" I screamed. I was ready to cry. Seriously, what did I do?

"Well," Temari started.

_

* * *

_

_This story is now in Temari's point of view._

We were in the kitchen making breakfast. The normal dietary guidelines of the food pyramid- potato chips, ice cream, soda pop, etc. "Alright guys, let's go back." I ordered. "I want to watch some new videos on MTV." We all walked back to the TV room when we stopped in our tracks. "Kankuro!" I screamed. "Kurisuta! STOP!"

"Make us!" Kurisuta yelled back. Kankuro and Kurisuta were jumping up and down on the couch.

"What the hell is wrong with them?" I asked myself. I noticed they both had Spanish accents. I was totally confused.

"Temari! There they go!" yelled Yoake just as I looked at the TV to find Dora the Explorer. They jumped out the window screeching like monkeys. We all just stood there, not understanding what was wrong with the two morons we had learned to love. Even Gaara had the expression that said "What the hell?!"

"We need to go after them," I sighed. "I'm going to kill them both when I catch them!" I yelled angrily. We all jumped out the window instead of using the door; we need to track their exact steps.

We found them at a park playing in the sandbox. "Aww! That's so cute!" exclaimed Mu.

"Ok, we need to box them in," I whispered ignoring Mu. "So everyone circle around them." Everyone did as I said, even Gaara who hardly listens to anything I order. I stepped into the park near the sandbox. "It's over, you two! Quit acting like idiots and come back home!"

"Aha!" laughed Kankuro. "You can't make us you mean lady!"

"…Mean lady?" I repeated slowly. Then it hit me, they were acting like hyper-active 5 year olds. "What could make them act like that, though?" I asked myself. The TV? Dora the Explorer? Yes, it was starting to make sense even though she wasn't 100 sure that was the case; the acting like 5 years olds, the Spanish accents. "Dumbasses! Get over here now!" I shouted.

"Make us!" Kurisuta shouted back. That urked me.

"Alright…" I warned. "NOW!" I shouted. Everybody jumped on top of Kankuro and Kurisuta.

"Help!" shouted Kurisuta at two Suna police officers.

"I'm being ninja molested!" screamed Kankuro. The two police officers just rolled their eyes and continued walking. They must have thought… no… KNOWN they were being stupid.

We tied up Kankuro and Kurisuta and proceeded to drag them back to Kurisuta's house. They squirmed the whole way. They stopped squirming once we placed them on the couch and started untying them.

"Now you two are gonna sit there or you're getting nap time with no snack!" I warned. Both of their eyes got huge with misery at the thought of no snack time. "I think I know how to control them," I whispered at the others. Right then they both started sobbing lightly. I stared at them in disbelief. Kankuro's face paint started to smudge a little with his tears and Kurisuta's eyes were getting red. "Jeez," I said to them. "All these crocodile tears all because I warned you of no snack time?"

"We're hungry," whined Kurisuta as Kankuro nodded. All I could do was sigh at this.

"Ok, so what do you want?"

"Ice cream!" Kankuro and Kurisuta shouted in unison.

"Fine," I sighed again. "Watch them!" I ordered Gaara, Yoake, and Mu.

"I'm not sure if that's-" I heard Mu say as I walked into the kitchen but her voice died out as I got to the freezer. I grabbed the first container of ice cream I saw-chocolate vanilla swirl. I put about 3 scoops in each bowl and placed a spoon along with it.

_Meanwhile…_

A flying mountain hamster carcass hits Sasuke in the face.

_Anyway…_

I walked into the living room where Kankuro and Kurisuta sit on the couch. They both jumped up in glee when they saw the ice cream and started gorging it down. As they did so I started thinking of how to turn them back to their normal selves. I even asked Yoake, Mu, and Gaara for suggestions when Kurisuta screamed at the top of her lungs.

"What the hell?!" I screamed, but by the time I turned around Kankuro and Kurisuta had run past us and jumped out the window… again. "What the hell!?" I screamed again.

"I tried to warn you," said Mu. "You should never give two hyperactive 5 year olds ice cream."

"Well why not?" I asked.

"Because it contains SUGAR!" she emphasized.

I felt like an idiot. I should have thought of that. I remembered Yashamaru giving Kankuro ice cream when he was little; he bounced off the walls! We all jumped out the window again (I'm sure the door was feeling pretty useless by now) and ran through the Suna streets.

"Hey, Temari-san!" some girl shouted.

"Sorry, can't talk! We're kinda busy right now," I answered looking around for the two goons.

"That's just it," the girl said. "If you're looking for your brother and his girlfriend they just ran through here with your bra on top of their heads."

I felt myself blush as Yoake and Mu were laughing. Gaara, of course, was just standing there because he never laughs. I also felt as if I were falling through a spiral- a spiral of anger. "That's it!" I screamed as I stomped away from the girl. "Those two are going DOWN!" I rushed off with the other three following me.

We ran around Suna for atleast half an hour asking people if they've seen the two morons. Most of them had and they pointed us in the direction they saw them go. "I'm going to kill them!" I yelled back at Yoake, Mu, and Gaara. I was furious.

"Hey!" yelled a familiar voice. It was Baki. He waved at us and we stopped right in front of him. "Temari, I have a question."

"What?" I asked in a tone that hid my anger.

"Why was your brother and that little blonde girl running through here with bras on their heads?"

I gritted my teeth and calmly responded, "They were hypnotized by Dora the Explorer."

This sure raised Baki's one visible eyebrow. He looked as though he wanted to say something, but he rejected the thought.

"Yea," I continued. "It's pretty screwed up, I know."

"Well," he started. "They just ran back towards your house."

"Mine or Kurisuta's?"

"Yours."

"Thanks, Baki." And with that we rushed off again back towards my house.

"Oh yeah, they're definently here," said Yoake. We were standing on the front porch as we heard the loud music. It was stuff from Toy-box. I started to wonder if their 5-year-old minds would understand what the lyrics meant.

We opened the front door and snuck to Kankuro's room. There was really no need to sneak, the music was loud enough to cover any noise we made. I opened his bedroom door as fast as I could. I was about to say "Alright, losers!" but what I saw totally caught my breath. It was the most creepy, yet adorable, thing I had ever seen. Kankuro and Kurisuta were curled up into the fetal position sleeping next to each other.

All I could do was sigh as I heard Mu say, "Aw! Totemo kawaii desu!"

"Alright, guys," I said to Gaara, Yoake, and Mu after I turned down the music. "We should probably get them to that hypnotist expert I saw advertised at the mental hospital." I paused for a moment thinking of how to get them there. "Ok, Gaara, you get Kurisuta… and us three girls can get Kankuro."

Gaara walked over to the bed and lifted up Kurisuta in his arms with ease. I tried lifting up Kankuro and thought I would keel over. He was like an overstuffed teddy bear! It took a few minutes before we found an idea that worked. I grabbed Kankuro under his shoulders while Yoake grabbed him by his ankles and Mu was in the middle supporting the rest of his body. The lazy ass never even realized what was going on.

And yes, we walked down the street like that. Yes, we got many strange looks, but most people just rolled their eyes and continued their daily tasks. They were probably used to it by now. Luckily we found Baki again and he carried Kankuro the rest of the way.

When we got to the hospital the two goons were still sleeping. "A side effect of the hypnotism," explained the doctor. He looked like Humpty Dumpty. It took all Gaara, Yoake, and I had to control Mu's laughter. He seemed to not notice Mu, or maybe he was ignoring her. Who knows? "This is simple hypnotism," he stated. "I'll have them back to normal real soon." A nurse picked up Kurisuta and put her in a hospital bed, while it took 4 nurses to lift up Kankuro. "Just sit tight," the doctor ordered us before he walked to a room where the two idiots had been taken.

I sighed as we found our seats in the lobby. I picked a chair next to a table with many magazines. There was also a newspaper that had a headline that totally caught my eye. Seems Dora the Explorer was finally being cancelled and as a revenge plot the producers hypnotized anyone who watched the last episode. "Holy hell!" I yelled.

"What?" asked Yoake. My yelling had caught the attention of the few people waiting in the lobby as well. I read the newspaper article to everybody and when I had finished everyone's eyes, including Gaara's, were wide with disbelief.

After I read that newspaper two questions popped into my head.

-Why were they watching Dora the Explorer?

-And do I want to know?

* * *

_Yet another random thought that entered my head. XD I don't think "random" is quite the word for it. How about... hmm... Oh, I dunno... Maybe "crazy" or "INSANE!"_

_Sometimes I wonder if I really am crazy._

_I used the show Dora the Explorer because I think everyone knows what that is! I also thought about using Barney but I wanted to give a slight hint about why they were acting crazy when I said they had Spanish accents._

_I don't own anyone in Naruto but Kurisuta is mine. Yoake and Mu belong to Yoake and Moo._

_Oh yea. And about the flying hamster carcass hitting Sasuke in the face... well.. uhh. That was Yoake's brother's idea. He told me to put something totally random and this was about the most random thing I could think of. XD_

_Stay in school._


	4. Chapter 4

_**Adventures of Kankuro and Kurisuta**_

_Chapter 4: Strip DDR_

* * *

We all arrived back at my house around 5:00 in the evening. Yoake, Mu, and Gaara seemed bitter towards Kankuro and I during the walk home; probably because our little adventure resulted in Temari complaining the whole way home. However it was quiet when we stepped into the house. It was a strange quiet; an angry one.

"Oh, come on, guys!" I scolded. "We came here to play DDR, now lets play some DDR!" I ran to my room to grab the Dance Pad and the Playstation 2. When I returned they all stared at me with evil grins, except for Gaara of course.

"…What…?" I asked cautiously.

"We've decided," started Kankuro, "We're going to make this interesting."

"…How…?"

"We're playing Strip DDR," he said still grinning.

The first thought that went through my head was "Oh shit…" Strip DDR? Yoake, Mu, and I had joked about playing that before but we never actually did! I honestly had no idea what to say. "Well…" I started. "Ok. But how are we gonna do this? Boys versus Girls?" I couldn't believe I asked that. Why was I agreeing to this?

"We need atleast one more player-" started Yoake.

"Nonsense! We need two more boys," I stated. "I want to have a Boys versus Girls match!" I was starting think this would be fun.

"Where are we going to find two more boys willing to play?" asked Kankuro.

"And are competitive enough," added Gaara.

I thought for a moment and found the solution to our problems. "Wait here a minute!" I yelled. I ran out the door into the streets of Suna without even waiting for any responses. I ran towards the nearest hotel and found the perfect candidates- Naruto and Rock Lee. "Naruto! Lee!" I called out. They looked up and waved once they remembered who I was.

"Hey you!" said Lee.

"Hey, Kurisuta-chan!" said Naruto. I could tell they were both happy to see me. I got along with a lot of people in Konoha, that's how I knew they were here today for a visit.

"You're coming with me!" I stated as I grabbed the back of their shirts and proceeded to drag them back to my house.

"Hey, wait!" demanded Naruto.

"Don't resist!" I demanded back. "It's really important!" They must have seriously thought it was important because they ran along side me.

As we approached my house Naruto asked, "Did Mu-chan get her foot caught in the toilet again?"

I laughed at this. Mu-chan never really did get her foot caught in the toilet, but the joke was Naruto thought she was really silly. "No," I answered as I opened the door. Everybody looked up at me as I noticed they already had the Dance Pads and Playstation set up. "Wow!" I exclaimed. I was surprised at the fact they actually hooked up the sound cables to the stereo instead of just the mono-sound TV.

"What is the meaning of this?" asked Lee.

"We're playing Strip DDR," I answered back smiling.

"What?!" yelled Naruto and Lee.

"You drug me all the way here just for this?!" yelled Naruto.

"You said it was important!" complained Lee.

"It is important!" I said. "We need to settle the fact that girls are better than guys at everything." This sure caught the attention of their competitive sides.

"Is that an invite to have your ass kicked?" asked Naruto with an evil grin.

"You're going down!" yelled Lee.

"It's on!" I screamed. And that's how it started; Gaara, Kankuro, Lee, and Naruto against Yoake, Mu, Temari, and I.

We decided to play the newest DDR for the Playstation 2, Supernova, and decided what options were to be made: Double the speed on Difficult with the Dark turned On (Meaning you can't see the above arrows).

"Wait!" ordered Temari. "Let's bet on this!"

All of the guys looked at each other. "We're listening," said Kankuro.

"If we win, you four have to dance around Suna in slutty maid outfits complete with fishnet and black pumps."

"Oh!" I piped in. "And you'll have feather dusters to go around dusting random people off."

"And boobs," added Mu. The girls nodded at this in agreement.

The guys looked at each other again before going into a huddle. They whispered for a minute or two before facing us again. "If we win," said Naruto, "you have to run around Suna in bikinis singing Superstar by Toy-box."

I should have known they would want something that satisfies their manly pleasure, but I didn't complain- it could have been worse.

"Except for you, Temari," said Kankuro. "Because you're my sister and all, you get the task of just singing the part of the guy." Gaara nodded. "Oh and you can't strip past your undershirt! I won't have it!"

"Ok, ok!" said Temari. "Fair enough."

The rules of the game were fairly simple: Once you stripped down to your undergarments (bra and underwear) you were completely out. Jewelry counted as an item of clothing. Deciding who won the round were decided on how many points each person got rather than the grades. The first team with all of their teammates almost naked loses. Also, to decide who went first we went with the person in each team whose first name came first in the alphabet. For example, for the first round it was Gaara versus me.

After that we just went in no particular order, just whoever wanted to go next. I won the first one, which resulted in Gaara taking off his gourd. He was starting slow.

By round 11 we were all hot and sweaty... and the guys were part naked. I had lost one to Lee; it was a really fast song and I just gave up. I ended up taking off one of my knee-high socks. The guys kept losing. Gaara had his shirt off, Kankuro had his shirt and cat hat off revealing his spiky brown hair, Lee took off his headband one of his leg warmers, Naruto had his jump suit off and both his shoes AND his headband. He was just in his boxers meaning he was out.

By round 23 all the guys were out. They guys had won once and that was because Lee caught me on a bad song. "I can't believe it," I said to the almost naked guys. "You talk a lot of crap!" The girls and I were laughing hysterically.

"And you know what that means," said Yoake. She ran to her room and held up her maid outfit. All of us girls had maid outfits because we had lost a bet to Kankuro, Gaara, Kiba, and Shino right before Halloween and that's what we had to be for Halloween- slutty maids.

Mu and I went to our rooms for our maid outfits while Temari had to run home for hers. By this time it was only 7:00- there was still plenty of people outside.

"This is absolute bullshit!" yelled Kankuro as he stepped out of the restroom with the maid outfit on; and of course the fishnet and black pumps!

Gaara stepped out of my room and boy howdy did he look angry! Naruto came from Mu's room and Lee came from Yoake's room. They looked so hilarious.

"Pose guys!" ordered Moo before she snapped a picture of all them in the maid outfits.

"Alright!" I started. "You know what to do." I held up the boom box and as soon as we walked outside I pressed the play button which started the song Cowboy Joe. They started dancing down the Suna streets, except for Gaara. He absolutely refused to do it! Instead he just went up to people and dusted off their faces. I was surprised he even did that. Mu had her camera and took pictures the whole time this was going on. Everybody in the Suna streets was asking the same exact question- "What the hell?!"

* * *

_Wow. I'm sure if this were to actually happen the citizens of Suna would be like, "Yea... I'm moving to -insert random village name here-" XD Unless they were cool and thought we were funny._

_Yea. So I spent.. uhh.. -counts on fingers- about 3 hours straight typing this. Don't worry about me, i'm just really bored. I bought a Full Throttle Energy Drink today and it FINALLY wore off. Now i'm uber tired._

_Once again nobody in Naruto belongs to me. Kurisuta is mine, and Yoake and Mu belong to Yoake and Moo._

_Don't do drugs._


	5. Chapter 5

_**Adventures of Kankuro and Kurisuta**_

_Chapter 5: Ninja Tag_

* * *

For once I woke up around 8:45 feeling good. It was a few days after the DDR incident so maybe I was still laughing about it inside of me. I sat up and listened for any noise that meant movement. There was none; meaning Yoake and Mu were still asleep. They always slept in really late anyway. 

I slowly opened my closet door to decide what I wanted to wear. I chose a black tank top with an electric guitar, drums, and other instruments twirled into a fancy silver design on the right side. I also chose my jean skirt complete with dark pink and green striped knee-high socks partly covered by my tie up boots that went to the middle of my shins.

As I was in the bathroom to do usual morning activities I decided to put a few temporary pink streaks in my hair before putting up half of my thick blonde hair in pigtails. Black eyeliner, gray eyeshadow, and mascara complimented my eyes.

"What should I do today?" I asked myself as I walked into the kitchen to grab a chocolate glazed donut. "I'll go see what the Suna sibling are up to." I grabbed another donut before walking out the door.

When I arrived at their front porch Gaara came out. "Hi, Gaara!" I yelled cheerfully. He looked at me with those almost emotionless, dark eyes.

"Hey," he managed to say.

"Where do you think you're going?" I said playfully. "Did I say you could leave your house?" All he did was roll his eyes at me. I had learned not to take any of Gaara's actions towards me to heart because I knew somewhere down deep in that microscopic heart of his he was laughing his ass off wanting to say something just as silly to me in response. "But seriously," I finally said in a serious tone. "Where are you going?"

Gaara hesitated before saying, "Baki says they want to make me Kazekage…"

"Are you serious…?" I asked slowly. He nodded, I squealed, Gaara cringed. "That is so cool!" I said cheerfully. "You deserve a cookie! …No, you deserve better than a cookie!"

He looked confused. "…What-?"

I shoved the spare donut I had in my hand into his mouth while he was talking. "Good luck!" I wished him before I walked into his house. I found Kankuro sitting on the couch watching My Name Is Earl.

"I see you heard the news," he said without looking towards me. His eyes were glued to the TV.

"Ha. Yea." I responded. I sat down next to him. "What are the plans for today?"

"This," he answered apathetically.

"Oh, come on!" I said. "We always find better things to do than this!" He just shrugged. I thought for a moment before asking, "Wanna play Ninja Hide and Go Seek in the mall?"

"That's a great idea!" said Temari as she walked in from the kitchen. "I'm in."

"I'm not," said Kankuro. He still had his eyes glued to the TV.

"Kankuro," I started.

"Yes?"

"What color makeup do I have on?"

"How should I know?" Just as I thought. He hadn't even glanced up once.

"Well… ok, if you don't want to…" Temari looked disappointed until I motioned with my eyes for her to come upstairs with me. She knew I had a plan. We walked up the steps and stopped near Kankuro's room. "Alright," I whispered. "I'm going to sneak in here and grab Crow. You go downstairs and keep the front door open." I think she had an idea of where this was going because she nodded her head and walked downstairs.

Kankuro's door was already open so all I had to do was walk in and grab Crow. And that's exactly what I did. I carried Crow over my shoulder. It wasn't as heavy as I thought it was. Afterwards I tiptoed to the beginning of the stairs then ran as fast as I could down them to the front door. "Not it!" I screamed.

"Not it!" screamed Temari. I glanced back just in time to see Kankuro finally look up.

"Hey!" I heard him yell angrily. Temari and I ran as fast as we could to the mall. We were a bit out of breath by the time we arrived in the front doors.

"We have to keep moving," stated Temari.

"I know!" I answered breathing heavily. We ran half across the mall when a great idea popped into my head. "Follow me, Temari," I ordered. She did so. I lead her to a country store. In the back of this store was a cow-printed cowboy hat that I picked up and paid for at the cash register farthest away from the door. I put in on Crow's head. It didn't look threatening anymore. It just looked silly.

"Alright, what if he's out there," said Temari. She had a good point. I thought for a moment.

"Excuse me!" I said to a random guy.

"Yes?" said the guy.

"Could you look outside this store and see if there's a man dressed in black out there? He wears a cat hat and purple Kabuki paint."

"Uhh… sure." The man seemed a bit confused but he went to check for Kankuro regardless. He looked outside then came back to us saying, "All clear."

"Thanks so much," Temari and I said in unison before we dashed off.

"Ok, one more stop," I said to Temari. Temari took it upon herself to glance back every once in a while to check for her brother.

We stopped at Victoria's Secret when Temari started laughing. "What's up?" I asked her.

"I think Kankuro would rather give up Crow than go in here," she said still laughing. I started laughing as well because it was probably true.

"Ok, well we need to go in and buy a sexy bra and a pair of panties," I said. Temari started laughing harder. She knew what I was up to.

I looked around the back of the store and found the perfect lingerie set- Cheetah print bra and thong. I started laughing as hard as I could as I walked up to pay for it. Sixty dollars for that damn thing! "It had better be worth it," I thought.

Temari lifted up the cloth that Crow already had on as I snapped the bra onto it then put the thong on it. "DAMN!" shouted Temari. "That thing is sexy with a capital S!" I started laughing.

We were about to walk out of the store when we spotted Kankuro. He was looking into the window of the store across from us. "Shit!" I whispered.

"Hey! I have an idea," stated Temari as she was taking down her four pigtails. She went to the window and stood next to the mannequins modeling the lingerie. I understood what she was doing and I thought it was hilarious!

I went to the next window, dropped Crow behind me and did a sexy pose. A few people passed by the window and nobody noticed I was real instead of plastic. Kankuro finally turned around, and looked in our direction before running off to another part of the mall. I fell backwards onto Crow because I was laughing so hard. Temari was laughing as well. Her face was red and tears were strolling down her face.

I saw a familiar figure pass by outside. It was Shino. You couldn't miss his thick brown Afro. "Oh my gosh!" I said suddenly.

"What?" asked Temari who at this point was interested in more silly ideas.

"Follow me," I ordered. I grabbed Crow as I stood up to chase after Shino. "Shino!" I shouted. Shino turned around.

"Hey, Kurisuta," he said emotionless as ever.

"Hey! I need you to do something for me," I said.

"What?" he asked suspiciously.

"In about 10 minutes, I need you to find Kankuro and tell him you saw us take his puppet and run out of the mall." He stayed silent in confusion. "Just don't tell him what Crow looks like. Don't tell him we dressed him up." He continued to stay silent. "Please?" I asked as cute as I could.

"What's in it for me?" he asked.

"I'll give you a big kiss," I said. Temari's eyes got wide but she stayed quiet. I could tell Shino was blushing.

"…10 minutes…?" he said a bit nervously. That was the first bit of emotion I ever heard out of him.

"Yes! In fact you should follow him home, it'd be funnier."

"…Ok…" And with that we stealthily rushed out of the mall back to my house.

_

* * *

_

_Due to the lack of Kankuro, we're going into his point of view now._

I was pissed off to an inhuman extent! The nerve of those two girls to take Crow! I had been searching around the mall for about 20 minutes asking people if they had seen two girls running around with a creepy wood puppet. Most of them had and they pointed me in the direction they last saw them go.

"Hey," said an emotionless voice. I turned around and saw Shino.

"Not now, Shino," I ordered. "I'm looking for my sister and that stupid blonde chick I consider my friend."

"I just saw them run out of the mall with your puppet," said Shino.

"Are you serious?" I asked. He nodded his head slightly. "Damn it!" I shouted. "They must have went back to the house."

"Can I come with you?" Shino asked with still no emotion. "I haven't seen Kurisuta in a while."

"Sure," I answered. "You can witness me kicking her ass."

Shino and I dashed out of the mall and about 5 minutes later we arrived at my house. I realized nobody was there, so we ran to Kurisuta's house. "They're here..." I said to Shino. They had some loud music playing inside. "It's over, losers!" I shouted as I opened the front door. What I saw next would have to be the creepiest thing I had ever witnessed.

Crow had a cow-print cowboy hat on with a Cheetah print bra and thong. And what was even worse they were having tea with him! "What the hell?!" I screamed. Temari, Yoake, Mu, and Kurisuta started laughing.

_

* * *

_

_Back to my point of view_

Kankuro's expression was the greatest thing I had ever seen! I was laughing so hard along with the rest of the girls.We had told Yoake and Mu what Temari and did already. "Oh, come on!" he continued to shout. He stomped to the table and grabbed Crow. He tore off the bra and the thong then threw the hat at us. "Idiots," he said. "Just for that, I'm watching TV over here." He plopped down on the couch and reached for the remote.

"Man…" I thought, "After all that he still just wants to watch TV." I couldn't believe it!

"Hey…" said a nervous familiar voice. "You know what I want…"

"Oh yea." I totally forgot about that. I stood up and grabbed his hand to lead him to my room. Nobody even realized we left; they were too busy laughing at Kankuro. He shut the door slightly. I walked to the other side of the room to grab something from my closet. I reached for something and hid it behind my back until I walked back to Shino. "Here you are!" I said handing him an oversized Hershey Kiss. I wanted him to laugh or atleast let me see a funny expression.

Instead of reaching for it he grabbed my arms and pushed me against the wall. My heart started racing as I froze up. He pulled down his jacket revealing the rest of his face. He put his face closer and closer to mine until the next thing I knew his lips were touching mine. He was very shaky. He was also gentle, don't get me wrong, but it didn't change the fact that I was scared shitless!

I started squirming in an attempt to get away but he had an extremely steady grip on me. I also tried yelling for someone but his lips were pressed tightly to mine. My vision started to fade to black before I heard a familiar voice. "Hey! Get off of her!" It was Kankuro! Shino finally took his lips off of mine. I was frozen in fear still. I didn't want a fight to break out right here. What if someone was to get hurt?

"This is none of your business, Kankuro," Shino said in an angry tone.

"It is my business when my best friend is against the wall squirming to get free," he said just as angrily. "Now get out of here!" Kankuro ordered. Shino did so. He left my room and soon after the house. I heard the door squeak. He let go of me but I didn't relax at all. I was still frozen to the wall.

Kankuro reached for my hand and slowly led me away from the wall into the middle of my room where he stopped to hug me and stroke my hair. I didn't hug back, though. I was still too freaked out but somehow… I sensed he understood this. I just now realized he was taller than me by about 2 or 3 inches.

I started to feel better. I actually hugged him back. "You're like an overstuffed teddy bear," I said to him with a sigh of relief.

He laughed a little before picking me up by my waist and carrying me into the living room. I saw him look around as I noticed there was nobody inside. No Temari, no Mu, no Yoake… nobody… His expression changed from comforting to angry when he yelled, "God damn it! Where the hell is Crow?!"

* * *

_Very sorry guys. It's supposed to be humorous but I couldn't resist adding a bit of drama in there. I'm not even feeling 'emo' today. Odd. I promise the next chapter will be hilarious! I swear on a stack of manga. XD_

_No, I don't fantasize this happening incase some of you a-holes are wondering. Sorry, just had to get that out of the way._

_I don't know how many times I have to say this but nobody in Naruto belongs to me. Kurisuta, however is mine. Yoake and Mu belong to Yoake and Moo._

_Always wipe._

_P.S_

_If you have some suggestions for a chapter, send me a message through here somehow or through Deviantart, i'll try and squeeze it into my plans. I'm always happy to accept suggestions. Just nothing like.. totally perverted. I don't write perverted romance novels... but there's an idea. LOL! Jk._


	6. Chapter 6

**_Adventures of Kankuro and Kurisuta_**

_Chapter 6: Suna Matsuri!_

It was a hot day in Suna, but it didn't stop me from playing DDR. I felt like I was going to hurl while playing Max 300 but I kept going. Once it was over, I felt myself falling backwards only to be caught by someone- Kankuro. "Hey, nerd bomb, if you keep working yourself like this you're going to get a heatstroke." He lifted me up then put his arm around me once he realized I was having a hard time keeping my balance. The room was spinning and I felt the intense urge to puke. "Don't get sick on me!" he ordered with concern.

He sat down next to me on the bed before getting back up to turn the fan on high. Then he sat down again in silence until I came into contact with my surroundings again. "You want to know something…?" I asked Kankuro slowly.

"What?"

"I feel like playing Love Love Sugar!"

"No way!" he said. That asshole took my DDR mat and ran out of my house with it.

"Kankuro!" I screamed with rage. I started to go after him but I still had a slight urge to puke. I ended up just falling onto the floor. He came back a few minutes later, though, with a dignified smirk on his face. "I hate you," I stated.

He kneeled on the floor towards me. "I'm sorry. Do you like me enough to…" he stopped there. This raised my interest. "Well…uh…" he tried to say nervously. "There's a festival going on… in honor of Gaara being named Kazekage… and I was just wondering…"

"Kankuro-san," I interrupted him. "Are you trying to ask me to the festival?"

He stared at me intently for a few moments. "You really know how to ruin a special moment." I giggled a little.

"Sure, I'll go with you. It's not like I have anything better to do here anyway now that some asshole took my DDR mat."

Kankuro rolled his eyes. "I'll make sure I beat up that asshole later. Now where's your kimono?" I walked into the closet across the room and came back out with a box. Inside the box lay a neatly folded dark purple yukata. I took it out to show Kankuro.

"Kurisuta-chan…"

"Yes, Kankuro-kun?"

"Why do you have Prince from Katamari Damashii on the bottom of your kimono?"

I looked down to see Prince rolling a Katamari, which made me giggle. "Isn't it awesome?" I asked.

"It's interesting, I'll give you that," he said still staring at it.

"And look!" I turned it around to show Kankuro cousin Kuro rolling a Katamari as well. "Cousin Kuro!"

He continued to stare. He finally gave a slight, "wow…"

"There's more!" I set the yukata on the bed and reached in the box to take out the obi.

He stared at it for a moment before saying, "You've got to be kidding me…" I started laughing hard. The obi had all the cousins holding hands all the way around.

"I designed it myself!"

"It shows, you silly nerd bomb. Now put it on, we're going to my house before we go to the festival." He started to walk out of my room.

"Wait! Kankuro-kun!"

"What?" he asked as he turned around.

I hesitated for a moment before slowly stating; "I don't know how to put this thing on."

"What?!" he asked surprised. "You don't know how to put this thing on?" I shook my head and he sighed. "This is embarrassing…"

"Turn your ass around so I can take off my shirt," I ordered. He rolled his eyes and did so. Once I took off my shirt he said something that scared me shitless!

"Damn!" he yelled.

"What?" I asked not turning around.

"I didn't know you were American!"

I was confused at first. "…What?"

"What size bra do you wear?" At this point I turned to face him in surprise. I forgot there was a mirror there! That pervert didn't even tell me!

"Kankuro, you perv!"

"Sorry," he said laughing. Then he buried his face in his hands as I atleast covered myself with the yukata.

"There," I said once I had overlapped the kimono correctly; I atleast knew how to do that.

"Ok," he said looking at me. He took all the accessories from the kimono box and did some stuff. The next thing I knew my yukata was on me perfect. He took a step back and whistled at me. "Sexy!"

I scowled at him. I walked over to the closet to take out the geta shoes. I put them on and realized they didn't feel that much different from my normal ninja shoes. But once I took a step I fell forward only to be caught by Kankuro. "You're freakin' retarded," he said putting his arm around me to help me balance myself.

We walked to his house so he could put his yukata on as well. I met Temari and Shikamaru there while waiting for Kankuro. "Hi, Temari-san. Shikamaru-san," I greeted. "You two going together?"

"Yup," said Temari. Shikamaru nodded. I tried stepping towards them but I almost fell over again.

"It's all about balance," said Shikamaru. "You're trying too hard, loosen up."

I let go my fear of falling and it worked. I stepped towards them with more ease than before though I was still a bit shaky. "Yay, I got it!" I said excitedly. Then it hit me. "Where's Gaara?" I asked.

"He went on ahead," replied Temari.

"I'm here!" yelled Kankuro. His yukata was black and it had the same symbol as his jumpsuit. I whistled at him like he had done to me, but unlike me all he did was pose sexily.

And with that we were off. I still struggled a little to walk in those damn shoes and I was jealous that they could do it and I couldn't. I loosened up as Shikamaru had told me to do and by the time we arrived at the festival I was walking just fine.

Kankuro hooked his arm around mine as Shikamaru had done with Temari. I looked up at him in confusion. "As the siblings of the new Kazekage we have to look dignified," he stated. I was still confused. "We have to make people think we're cool," he said more bluntly.

"Oh," I said finally understanding. I wasn't all that fond of being so close to Kankuro the whole evening at first, but then as the night continued I realized it wasn't so bad. We had a lot of fun! He won me an oversized stuffed panda. He knew how much I love panda bears. We even did kareoke! It took forever to convince him to do it but finally he caved and we sang Waka Laka. He didn't have to sing much in that song either so he was satisfied.

The night ended with a speech by Gaara and then pictures of him with his siblings and their boyfriend/girlfriend. Then finally we headed home. I was extremely tired. Kankuro must have sensed this because he gave me piggyback ride the rest of the way home. "Did you have fun?" I heard him ask me while I was half-asleep.

I giggled a little. "Yea…" I answered groggily. "But you know what it's missing?"

"What?" asked Kankuro.

"My fucking DDR mat."

* * *

_Heh. If someone ever took my DDR mat I would skin them alive then toss their carcass out into the desert. Srsly. Nobody touches the sacred DDR mat._

_So anyway, this was another totally random thought that passed through what scientists call a "brain"? Yea, I don't know what it is either._

_I might end this in a few more chapters. I just dunno how. Please give me ideas. Srsly. I'm bad at ending stuff._

_Naruto characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto._

_Kurisuta belongs to me._

_Never cook bacon with your shirt off._


End file.
